Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for any healthy relationship. They give us the space to be ourselves while also respecting the needs and feelings of others. Additionally, boundaries are important as they help define our self-esteem and allow us to express our needs, values, and desires.  Boundaries allow us to love others and ourselves safely-at the same time. 

Here are four things to note when setting your boundaries:

1. Know what your boundaries are. Boundaries are the rules or limits that you set in relationships with others, designed to protect and maintain your well-being. Take some time to think through what your boundaries should be and write them down so that you can refer back to them should you need to. Feel free to talk about this with your therapist to be certain of how you feel about boundaries you’re working to set.

2. Communicate your boundaries to others. Once you’ve established your boundaries, it’s important to communicate them to the people in your life. This can be done both verbally and non-verbally, but the most important thing is that your message is clear. Be direct and respectful. Others may have feelings about your boundaries, but that doesn’t mean your boundaries are wrong.

3. Respect others’ boundaries. As important as it is for you to have healthy boundaries, it’s equally important for you to respect the boundaries of those around you. Make sure to take the time to understand and respect their boundaries as well.

4. Know when to enforce your boundaries. Establishing and communicating your boundaries is only the first step. It’s important to be willing to enforce them when needed, otherwise they are not effective. If your boundaries are crossed, it’s important to follow through with any consequences you’ve specified. Let people know how you feel, what you need, and move on. 

If you’re struggling to set healthy boundaries, or unsure what this could look or feel like for you come talk to a therapist.  We’re here to help!